Grieving Child

GRIEVING CHILD

Grieving is a natural response. It’s a response to loss. Bereavement is a term commonly referred interchangeably with grief. Grief is a natural response to loss whereas bereavement is a state of loss.

Grief being a normal part of life runs through stages till the individual finds himself coping up and coming to terms with life. Every step of the process is healthy. It is only when a person gets stuck in one step for a long period of time, then the grieving can become unhealthy.

CHILDREN IN GRIEF

Child processes grief but they may not be able to verbalize it. Talk to them about their grief, help them to verbalize it. Each child expresses in its own way. They tend to move in and out of intense feelings, rather than sustaining high levels of one emotion for long periods of time. When adults see a grieving child playing or laughing, they may mistakenly believe that the child is "over it". This perception may influence how much grief support a child receives.

Child should be encouraged to communicate but should not be forced to do so.Be open, be honest. Share your feelings. Let them know you will be there for him

LETTING THE CHILD KNOW OF A DEATH

Child should be allowed to know of the situation as soon as possible. Details of the situation can be shared over the time. Choose the words wisely. Avoid using dramatic words. Adult’s reaction will play an important role in shaping their perceptions of the situation. Don’t lie to your child.

Explain the child it’s not their fault.

EXPRESSION OF GRIEF

• Emotional shock – Lack of feelings
• Immature Behaviors – constantly wants to be rocked or held, clinging to parents
• Explosive emotions – anger, terror, frustration, apathy
• Asking the same questions over and over - not because they do not understand the facts, but rather because the information is so hard to believe or accept

BEHAVIORS WHICH CAN BE WORRISOME

• Risk taking (Dangerous)
• Threatening to hurt (to oneself or others)
• Violent plays
• Total withdrawal

CHILDREN TO BE CLOSELY MONITORED

Drop in school grades

Physical symptoms – nightmares, difficulty in concentration, clinging nature, decrease appetite

Guilt feeling

Lack of communication

Isolation

Frequent anger outbursts, hyperactivity or depression

TREATMENT

Most children won’t require any treatment and will return back to their routine over some period of time. Nonetheless child needs professional help whenever there are extreme differences in behavior.

When in Doubt Always Consult a Professional.